By Joseph Sigurdson
I don’t get high, I get healthy. Every 5 a.m. I wake with the dooming shiver and scare of what I think is death. The Xanax helps with that. But it’s important you understand that the pills are barely fun. What is fun is the stale malt-licky, the syrupy whiskey, the motherly Bud, the chug-glug, the cold mug, the coffee porter, the moonshine drip, the ginny gin gin, the shivery sip. O how I love to rhyme and sing. I love to drink and never eat.