Whoa is it important to know how and when to say “yes” versus saying “no” to a scientific opportunity.

Saying “no” is not only OK, but is a requirement of being a successful academic. (The better you do, the more you will be asked to do, and I am quite certain that your body, if not your mind, requires care and feeding). Saying “no” appropriately and professionally benefits from practice. It’s not too early to practice while a graduate student.

Once you’ve said “yes”, you are committed. So slow down there kids before you say “yes” or “no”!

Say “yes” if you have the enthusiasm, time, and skills to follow through on your promise. Backing out or failing to deliver are bummers, for you and the other. Look at your calendar and see if you can schedule the work this week or the next. If it’s looking difficult, be honest about whether your schedule truly opens up after that, and whether this timing fits the project need. Say “yes” if the work fits into your on-going interests and areas of expertise, helps you with a new skill set you have been meaning to work on, or assists toward your graduation requirements, dissertation project, post-graduation position, a publication or grant, or other goals you have. Say “yes” if you enjoy working with this person/people and enjoy this type of activity.

Beware the “hallway ask”, when someone asks you verbally for assistance during an unscheduled encounter. Ask for additional information to be sent to you by email, if appropriate. This allows you the time to consider more carefully. In my experience the asker may not always follow up with this, indicating that their ask was not robust to the passage of time, but was more of a whim in the moment.

There are times when a “no” is not appropriate, such as if the ask is really a part of your paid position, or obligation to graduate, or is written into a funded grant. Other times you must consider how the ask fits into the academic hierarchy, and that that there may be relationship cost to saying “no”, and this must be weighed in.

Seek input from your advisor.

If you do say “no”, do so as promptly as you can, so that the asker can move on. An email is usually appropriate. Start with a thank-you for the opportunity. A lengthy explanation of your decline is not needed. If you have anything helpful to share, such as a pertinent publication or suggestion of someone else to help, certainly share this freely.

Manage your time and your reputation by practicing the art of under-promising and over-delivering. People do science. People make science fun. So love the peoples! (And love yourself).